Mary · Ann

I'm sure its just a phase..maybe I need more iron or protein..

maybe I should listen to that audio CD of a john c maxwell book my dad burned for me...

Maybe I feel this way for a reason and I should just accept the good quiet non busy alone time. Just soak it in..it surely wont be available forever.

I guess I should just be content to slow down and be still.

Also Early voting is happening, I went ahead and did it today, my polling place is a little out of the way from where I currently live. Its going on until the 29th so beat the rush! I was in and out in 5 minutes.

Current Mood:

accomplished

My mom and dads divorce is final, its been a year since they split, still feels pretty weird but I guess anything like that takes some getting used to.

On another mom note, just as she was getting over the heart surgery and all those complications, they found that she had breast cancer. Thankfully she gets mammograms yearly so it was small. They removed it and are pretty much sure they got it all, but she is still doing chemo to make sure its gone. She is halfway through treatment and handling it pretty well. Just the usual tiredness and sluggishness. Its been pretty surreal, but since they caught it early, a full recovery is expected. (with consistent checkups and tests of course. Another example of how yearly mammograms after 40 are pretty much mandatory!

I've been sick the past 5 or so days, like stay in bed in your pajamas with no makeup ever..for 5 days. I don't get sick very often at all, and thank god because it sucks.

Alex is going to be done with school this year, which means that our move to austin all of a sudden is about a year away. Thank god.. because I love Austin and I can't wait to live there. If this year goes by as fast as the last, I'll be there in no time. I'm already looking at apartments, but if you austinites have any tips, I'd appreciate it.

Also Blair, where are you going to cosmetology? I think I'll pick it back up once we settle in.

I'll update more often, I promise.

Current Mood:	sick
Current Music:	anthony bourdain

This means that when she does get out, she usually uses this time to tear up random things and use the restroom wherever she pleases, even if I put out a few puppy pads, she for some reason, does not use them.. EVEN if I move them to the areas it seems like she is going most, she just changes locations.

This has led to some unfortunate stains on my carpet, but thankfully I still have my dads carpet shampooer, so this morning after I finished the basic cleaning I got out the spot shot, treated the spots, then shampooed. I use woolite in the shampooer because .. well thats what I have and I absolutely love the way it smells. If there was a way you could put that in some sort of perfume or lotion, I would use and buy it religiously.

My mom has been back to in and out of the hospital, apparently she is having mini strokes, so they had to thin out her blood a super whole bunch and shes going back to her doctor who did her original heart surgery in Dallas, hopefully he will see what is going on and it won't take too much to fix and prevent any more strokes from occuring.

I went with Dominos, they let me work the eastside location and the money is great. The people are hard to warm up to, but I'm working on it, hopefully someone lame will quit soon and they will hire someone awesome. I miss the people at papa johns, they were much more fun.

I was going to go back to school this semester but turns out I missed filling out an application and I am technically not a student yet at UTPB, if you leave for a year or more you have to reapply..thats probably something I should have checked into. So I reapplied, but because school starts dreadfully soon, I am afraid I will have to wait for spring semester, but I am going to register for that as soon as my status at the school is officially 'student'.

I am so excited about going to the chinati open house in October. You should go if you have the chance, its Marfa, TX and its free.

Today is Alex's Dads birthday, I made him chocolate chip peanut butter muffins and blueberry mango. I sampled some, they were amazing.

-We got completely moved out of the other apartment, walls are back to white, carpet.. well its looks as good as its going to get. The point is... ITS DONE! Thank god.. I hate moving and do not want to do it again ever, I am seriously going to live in this apartment until I die.

-I found another job,two actually but I think I am going to go with pizza hut since they are hiring on an east side location, and dominos is only hiring for the one on west county, which is generally a less friendly tip area..but dominos does pay more per run. I have to make a decision by 5 today so.. I dunno.

-Why did I have to find a new job you say? Well .. thats a long story and honestly I don't want to put it out on the internet because its definitely something I am not very proud of..at all. Lets just say they let me go, and I'm lucky to not be facing more than just having to find another job..

-Even though I lost my job, my money situation is manageable and stable, thanks to my Dad. My Dad has really come through for me and I don't know where I would be without him, but I'm very thankful.

Also pancakes is doing well, shes adjusting to the new apartment and unfortunately the move has reversed any progress we made on house training, but we'll get through it. Shes just got to get used to her new surroundings.

Other than that, I'm extremely tired, my mouth tastes like paint, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have these white specks of paint on my skin/hair for at least another week.. but its all over and I can start relaxing a little.

Party TBA, because my new apartment..is pretty bad ass.

Current Mood:

relieved

I called the apartment office to check availability and they had ONE of the big one bedrooms available with the washer/dryer connection, so I went and gave them the deposit and now that big stress thats been on my mind is gone!

Not only do we have a place to live but its the floorplan we wanted, the only bad thing is its upstairs, but its all good, I could use some daily stair climbing anyway.

Also its available before the beginning of august (July 20) so we get to have 10 days to get moved in and settled, so I have plenty of time to paint the old apartment back to white and paint the new one.. not white.

Thank goodness =D

Maybe I have too much on my mind, stressed about finding an apartment to live in by the beginning of august, stressed about paying bills.

I filled out my FAFSA and sent it to UTPB, I'm tired of feeling like I'm doing nothing, I hate having a stupid job without the excuse that I'm in school right now, I don't want to be a slacker and its time to get the ball rolling again on getting this head educated.

Cosmetology was a good idea in theory but the hours killed me-- c'est la vie. I've learned my lesson now.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a disapointment to people that are most important to me. Am I a good to Alex? I feel like I take advantage of his kind hearted nature sometimes without even meaning to. Do I do as much for him as he does for me?

I try to.. but sometimes I think it might not be enough. I want to do as much for him as I possibly can but sometimes I get selfish... I don't mean to. I really don't.

I want to be that person that never utters a word filled with hate, I want my words to be understanding and even in criticism, fueled by love and caring. I want to think about others more than I do myself, and I want the wisdom to know whose demeanor is false and self serving, so I can keep myself at a safe distance.

I want NEED to be headed somewhere full force by the end of this year.

I will get this life back on track.

Current Mood:

blah

I guess I could have had a ton to talk about if I had just sat down at started typing but I just never did.

Work is good, I make enough to have fun and pay bills and I don't have to work a whole lot, so this means I can go back to school, which I will be doing in the fall, so thats good.

Alex has about a year left of school and then we will be moving, hopefully to the San Antonio/ Austin area, then I'll finish school and then life can start right? right...if only life was that simple.

I have the best friends in the world, I love them. They make me smile on a daily basis and I don't know what I would do without them. Alex is also the best boy a girl could ask for and I would certainly be lost without him with me every day. I've been spending a lot of time at fast eddies playing pool and drinking midori sours, that place is great. I think I'm going to start posting here on a more regular basis, I don't even know how many people still even use livejournal, but whatev.

I delivered a pizza to the boy I lost my virginity to the other day, that wasn't awkward at all, I hadn't seen him in like four years, and also I looked like shit, not that it mattered but you know you want to look good when someone you haven't seen in forever just runs into you. He gave me a $7.00 tip though..just one of those...UGH moments ya know?

I tried Gin and Tonic last night..that was good too, I love drinks, and they love me. We love eachother. This entry is so scattered and I'm sorry for that.

SXSW was great saw some great bands, love austin like nobodies business. I would move there tomorrow if I could.

Was released from the assignment at ACP because apparently, I missed too much when I got my wisdom teeth out..gay.

Been unemployed for two weeks, but start a job at office depot tomorrow, I am also going to apply at Johnny Carinos tomorrow too..becuase I def need something different from call centers.

While filling out paper work at office depot I saw a mouse..it was kind of cute.

The manager thinks that a guy from AAA exterminating planted it there..because he came out of nowhere asking if they had exterminating services and then all of a sudden they have mice. Wouldn't that be horrible?

So I have to go to work at 8am..back to the grind. Thank god..rent is coming up.

Current Mood:

sleepy

Yeah that was a time that really sucked for me.. I just felt like I stood for nothing and I was making a lot of horrible decisions and to top it all off, I was turning streetlights off.

So heres a story for you, I've always been a person that turns streetlights on..you know how when you pass a streetlight thats off and right when you pass it, it flickers on or when you pass one thats on it shuts off? I've always believed if you turn them on your full of positive energy and in general a positive and decent person with a lot of good karma etc etc, and if you turned them off, well completely the opposite. I know its kind of silly but it always made me smile when I would pass a streetlight and turn them on. It was during that time in my life that..I started to notice that I was turning them off..constantly..

Cut to today and I've pretty much had the garage sale and yes I did wear an oversized hat and now I've started to turn the streetlights back on. I kind of just have one more thing to take care of..but it takes the participation and conversation of another person who I haven't talked to in a while and who I get the feeling doesn't really want to talk to me..but if it doesn't happen, I just have to let it go.. c'est la vie right?

Life is good, things are looking up and as always, I love my friends, I love my husband and I love my family...and the streetlights.

Current Mood:

cheerful

This morning I am very dizzy, every move my head makes causes the room to spin..this is no good. I think it has something to do with my ears, because my right ear is kind of sore. I tried popping them but that only made matters worse. I can't get any reading done at work inbetween calls because..apparently we aren't supposed to read anything inbetween calls which I think is dumb. If it was set up more like telvista I could get around it but as it is, ACP is set up a lot more cozy with everyone kind of in an open area in your pod, and my seat is right next to the supervisor..so whatev. I'll make do until they move me to a bit more private desk.

I love pomegranate juice and I love smoothies..and If I hadn't of typed out this entry..I would have had time to make a smoothie before work..

Damn..

Current Mood:

Dizzy

In summation...my back hurts and its my freak of a spines fault!

When I go back monday I am going to take pictures of my x rays for everyone..they'll think thats really weird but its ok.

Tonight was fun. Went to jersey girl with geoff and alex, then we went to the duckpond and fed some pigeons and watched a gang of ducks terrorize the pond with their fancy feathers.Geoff invited the pigesons to feast on his body, but the were assholes and said no. Then we went to UTPB with luis to see banachek some mind magician or whatever, he was alright..could twist forks with his brain and shit..you know..whatever it was free. Then to IHOP where we met up with ernest and waited an hour for our food but twas fun anyway.

My extra vertabrae had a lot of fun too, now that I know its there, I'm going to treat it like my favorite, abandoning the other vertabrae as average and mediocre..fucking normal vertabrae.

Current Mood:

sleepy

I was getting clothes out of the dryer and my back just started hurting. I know its my muscles, because this has happened before, my lower back muscles get all tensed up and its hard to move or sit in certain positions. Last time this happened I had to have deep tissue massage which was horribly painful..but heaet helps too, but I don't have a heating pad.

It hurts to put on pants and a lot of other various things that you take for granted.

So put on your pants tonight people..and think about how  you can do it without horrible pain, and enjoy it. =)

Too easy, but whatever. My supervisor seems nice. I am in a pod with a girl who terets.

No one told me she had terets, I had to figure it out on my own. What kind of person would let me go into that situation unprepared?

Anyway, tomorrow is my last day of 8-5, then 11-8. Thank god, I'm so excited to sleep in!

Current Mood:

blank

My family has a black lab named sox that was never supposed to stay with us, we wanted to keep her so badly but my dad maintained that once we found her a home she was gone. Then one night she fell asleep on his lap..she never left after that.

Here I sit with an alex asleep on my lap, and I love him..of course I knew that I loved him, but ya know how every once in a while that feeling overwhelms you? We've been together for four years and sometimes its easy to kind of get comfortable in your feelings for someone, but its good to know that it only takes a nap to remind me that I love this boy more than anything, and even though things have been hard lately, with money and other random not so lucky things happening, I know that no matter what, I've got someone to to face it with, and thats all that I need.

Current Mood:

loved

Job will be so easy, not the best but whatever. I stil miss telvista but its only because  they won't let me back, so I have to make the best of ACP and hopefully I will meet some people there that I like.

Liz I love you, I had the biggest urge to call you today because I was buying a Sedaris book but wasn't sure which one to buy, but I looked at my world clock and it was 1:36AM where you were, so I figured probably not. Also..I don't even know if you would have that phone over there? I'm not too smart when it comes to overseas telephone usage. Anyway I'm so glad you made a post about dave sedaris because its sooo hilarious. I bought Naked, I've only read the first two stories and I'm in love and will buy every book.

Tonight I ate china mex, the noodles always make my brain feel fogged..I always forget why I buy them..because they are tasty thats why. Then we(me,josh,geoff) went to the halloween bootyqueen and found..a whole bunch of nothing. Walked around the mall, decided we didn't miss junior high, then went to rosas, decided we DEFINITELY didn't miss junior high and then we went to starbucks. I turned it to NPR and it was rasta hour..or something. I really dug the tunes, we drove with the windows down, it was a nice night.

I love Tazo Passion iced tea

I love rastafarian music

I love friends
<3

Current Mood:

happy

I wish I was in Dallas right now visiting crucial friends

I wish I had more convictions

I wish I had morals

I wish I had something to stand for, but the truth is I stand for very little.

I need to do a spring cleaning of my life, remove the excess and sell it at a garage sale, most of what I cleaned out i'm sure no one would want, so I would put it in a box that says "its free" and sit in a lawn chair next to the box, sipping lemonade and wearing an annoyingly large hat and flip flops.

I wish I would stop whining about wanting more out of life and go out and do something about it.

Current Mood:

blah

I guess

I miss telvista already :(

Been unemployed for a week, felt really nice just to have nothing to do. Josh is unemployed too, so he just comes over around 2 and we hang out all day, but its time for vacation to end and time to get a job, but it was nice to have the time off. Some days richard would call when he got off and come over at 1 or so and me and him and josh would hang out so thats been pretty fun.

I bought donkey konga, its a great game, a lot of fun to play, I've been playing it way too much.

Had our first disagreement with roomate..meh.

Bought an actual couch, I'm never using or purchasing a futon again..EVER! I hate futons and everything they stand for.

I got a call from kelly services, they are staffing the ACP call center again, so hopefully I will get in on that training class then I will have another permanent job.
I am also gonig to check into possible volunteer opportunityies at harmony home, a childrens advocacy center and see what I can do. I don't have any qualifications or anything, but I've been feeling like I need more purpose in my life and that might be a good way to get some.

This year has gone by super fast, I can't believe its already halloween/thanksgiving/christmas time...

Current Mood:

calm